🐍🔥 FROM GLUTES TO GROIN 🔥🐍 (South I35 Austin - ATX) - (33)

The November Vitality Reset You Didn’t Know You Needed Alright, gentlemen — let’s get real for a minute. Some of you are walking like one leg owes the other money. 💸 Some of you haven’t seen your toes since Blockbuster was still open. 📼 And others… well, your hips are carrying more emotional baggage than your ex after a self-help retreat. 🧳 Enter: The November Vitality Reset. 💪 2 hours. 💰 $260. 🚫 No cups. No marks. Just results. Book online only: 👉 https://www.massagebook.com/joannairislmt/massage/deals/November-Vitality-Reset-No-Cups-Masculine-Vitality-Restoration-/184793 I’m talking deep fascia mobility work — the kind that reboots circulation, untangles your stress, and restores your swagger from 🍑 glutes to groin (yes, it’s 100% professional, fully draped, and medically legit — chill, this isn’t that kind of Craigslist ad 😏). 🎯 Got holiday stress putting your spine in a chokehold? We fix that. 👨‍💻 Desk posture murdering your manhood and confidence? We fix that too. Only 30 sessions this month. When they’re gone, they’re gone — like your flexibility if you keep pretending stretching in the shower counts. 🚿🧘‍♂️ 👉 Book like a grown man who values his body Before you click: Ask yourself — does this feel like the reset my body’s been begging for? If yes, book it. If not, go ahead and ignore this — your hips will remind you tomorrow when you sneeze. 🤧💥 📲 Text 737-704-4659 — type “LEAGUE PRIORITY” so I know you’re answering the Justice League call. 🦸‍♂️ Because let’s be honest — even Batman needs bodywork. Side effects may include: 💭 A steadier mind than your morning espresso. 😴 Sleep so deep your Fitbit calls 911. 🔥 Calmer power that radiates like a furnace in a three-piece suit. 😎 And that quiet, unbothered swagger that makes everyone wonder if you just got promoted or enlightened. Safe • Professional • Results-Driven ✅ (No, I don’t fix emotional damage from your ex — but your hips? Absolutely.) Book or learn more: 👉 www.JoannaIrisLMT.com Respectfully rebellious, Joanna Iris, LMT (MT130698) Clinical Bodywork for Men | Masculine Vitality Restoration™ © Note: Unauthorized use of my copyrighted material or theft of my artistic work without explicit written consent will be pursued to the fullest extent of the law. I do not consent.